“Talking about Mum helps boys understand themselves. Some boys will have wonderful mothers, some not so great. Some will have absent mothers, and some may have mothers who have passed away.” 

That is the quiet truth at the heart of The Kiama Building Young Men Program, a mentoring initiative that is helping shape local teenage boys into thoughtful, respectful men, one honest conversation at a time.

And this week, that conversation is about Mum. As Mother’s Day approaches, mentors from the Kiama LGA are preparing to sit with their mentees and explore one of the most formative relationships of all: the one between mothers and sons.

It is not always easy. In fact, program leaders warn the session might be difficult, painful, and upsetting for some of the boys.

But they show up anyway.

Despite the challenges, there is power in truth-telling. By mentors and mentees sharing stories of how they were mothered - stories of tenderness, mistakes, warmth, estrangement or loss - it gives boys permission to reflect on their own experience, to make sense of it, and crucially, to decide what kind of men they want to be.

The Building Young Men (BYM) program does not sugar-coat things.

It asks mentors to speak frankly: “The young men are still watching and learning from all of our discussions and attitudes towards women,” it reminds them. “Be true and authentic.”

Program facilitator Mark Burns puts it more simply: “It is not about being perfect. It is about being real.”

The session asks boys to think not just about their relationship with their mum and other women in their life growing up, but also about how that relationship has shaped the way they treat women now. It is a big ask for any teenager, but mentors say the payoff is worth it.

“They open up in ways that surprise even themselves,” said Mark. “And they leave with a stronger sense of who they are and who they want to become.”

So if your teenage son who is a part of this program seems unusually reflective this weekend, it might just be because someone gave him the space to talk about Mum and he took it.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the women who helped raise our boys, and to the men brave enough to talk about them.

To learn more about the Building Young Men Program, click here